Friday, February 27, 2015

Why You Continuously Attract "Mr. Wrong"

Why you are attracted to one man over another: 

So, you're going about your life and you bump into your next dream guy.  He's handsome, he's charming, he seems to be everything you long for. You're powerfully drawn to him, you feel an attraction like a magnet.  It even appears that the Universe is "lining up" for you.  Like fate, brought you together.  Your energies collide and you engage in the moment.  Every thing about your encounter seems perfect and magical.

Fast forward into your future.  You've been seeing each other for a while and you're comfortable with each other.  And then.... slowly (or quickly) the "signs" start showing themselves.  The subtle, or not so subtle, things he does reminds you of your ex or your past relationships.  Little things start "going wrong" and then big things.  Before you know it, you are "reliving" your last relationship.  Sometimes it can seem like a train wreck, sometimes it can seem so loving.  You are confused and because of the Highs, you are more than willing to forgive the Lows; and because you just want to be loved and accepted, you take it.  That part of you that keeps making excuses for him is wounded and she is the one talking you out of leaving; she is the one who chose him in the first place.

Finally after you can't take anymore, you break away (or the Universe does it for you) and in an attempt to heal, you make a vow to "find yourself"; and then in no time at all....  the cycle starts all over.

Why do you think you are attracted to one man over another?  The unconscious answer is somewhere along the lines of He's cute, or He's handsome.  This couldn't be further from the truth.  The fact is, your physical attraction to someone is only 5% of the equation.  Think of all of your ex's: how many of them do you still find physically attractive?  I don't know about you, but most of mine are in the category of: "was I drunk our entire relationship?".  I'm sure you can relate.

The 95% of you that is attracted to him, is the unconscious part of you that is seeking out characteristics and qualities in a man, that "it" "thinks" will heal those wounded parts of you that are below the surface, by being in relations with him.  The deeper the inner wounds you hold, the more dysfunctional the man you attract.  In other words, your wounds are doing the scanning (in most cases) for your next partner.  Those parts of you that have been hurt in the past, the ones that are yearning to be healed, are the parts that are doing the choosing. This is the magnet under the surface that is attracting to you situations and people to mirror your beliefs.  On the surface, he seems wonderful, and he probably truly is as this is what you consciously desire.  However, under the surface, under your surface, is where the wounding is; the subconscious patterns that keep you attracting the same men and situations into your life.  This is where your triggers are.  The reason you are attracted to him in the first place is because he holds patterns within his being that will match yours. Unfortunately or Fortunately, Because of the "honeymoon" effect we ignore the warning signs ( I say "fortunately" because some figure it out and change their patterning through negative situations).  The purpose of the "honeymoon" phase is to allow for bonding (your brain emits oxytocin, the same hormone that is released after you give birth; ie: the love hormone).  The reason behind this is so you can become bonded before the exposing of the wounds.  The purpose of relationships is to grow and expand so you can become a better person living a more expanded life.  The problem is you are attracting unconscious men who are just playing a role in your story.  When you are on autopilot, and just playing the "dating game", you will almost always attract the same type of men, even if they appear to be "different from your last".  If you want to change your attraction, you've got to change your magnet.  You'll see that you will be attracted to completely different men once you do this.

You don't have to heal every wound in your being to attract "Mr. Right".  You can override this by being intentional at the same time you are working on yourself.  When you are intentional, you are taking the driver seat and ditching your auto pilot attraction.  What kind of man do you want to attract?  Write it out.  Be deliberate.  Make sure to include everything!  Even if it's 5 pages long.  Write out what type of relationship you want to have.  You must be detailed in order to receive what you truly desire.

You can change your attraction in an instant.  It only takes being conscious of your patterns.

1) Be intentional and on purpose in your attraction.
2) Change your magnet!
3) Get ready to receive a great love.

If you would like help in all of this, you can visit and you will find what you are needing there.

Or you can sign up for the webinar to learn what you must do to call him in fast!



You deserve a great love.  Learn how to do it deliberately.

In Love and In Light,

Transformational Relationship and Success Coach